You Gotta Have Faith

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phil. 4:6

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt. 6:34

These are two verses I have been saying over and saying again the past day to my anxious, fearful self. Why is it so hard to just have the faith that it will all work out? I have been freaking out lately about two things really. 1. Money (when will anyone ever have enough?) and 2. Daycare for baby.

1. I hate that money matters as much as it does but it does. With baby coming in less than 3 months, we are really having to try to watch what we spend money on and cut down on monthly bills if possible. Not a big deal and I will continue to do it if it means a better life for baby but it just seems like more and more expenses keep popping up with less and less money to go to them. I'm not taking a pay cut (I mean you can't exactly cut what little I make anyways) but I used to get paid extra for 8 months for teaching classes as an instructor. Because of budget cuts, there's no longer money there to pay us. Okay, I get it but that $350 bucks extra each month really helped and is really gonna hurt in the fall when baby arrives. Also we had to wipe a lot of savings to get a new AC a few months ago and while that was necessary and I am glad we had the money saved up, now we have nothing. I know we have enough money to be just fine but I worry about it nonetheless. Another big expense is day care which takes me to #2.

2. I don't know where baby is going to be come January when we need someone to watch him. We are on waiting lists but no one can tell us until Nov./Dec. if they have any openings. I understand that but what am I supposed to do until then? It means we will have no idea until a month before IF he gets in and if he doesn't get in anywhere, it will be way too late to just find a new place. It's WAY too expensive (i.e. not even an option because it's too much) to get someone to come to the house to watch him. We simply cannot afford that. So we wait. And I pray and I just hope I have enough faith to realize that whatever is going to happen will be okay. But it's hard. It's hard to have to trust that and do nothing about it now. It makes me anxious and nervous all the time.

So I try to focus on the good things. I am pretty sure I will be able to take 10 weeks off if baby arrives on time with no problems so that is great. It is paid leave so I am lucky I won't have to worry about that. My mom and Dale's mom have offered to watch the baby for Novemeber and December when I go back to work and rotate with a sitter who will just come for 3 days a week which will save us money. Our shower is July 17th and I know we will gets lots of things for the baby we need which will help us out a lot too. And I am feeling good and getting really excited so I just have to make it a couple more months and I will be good to go.


Had my 28 week dr appt today. I start going every 2 weeks now. Everything is pretty good. I had to do the sugar test but I won't know my results for a couple weeks. Hopefully I don't have to go back for another test or worse, have GD. I am rh-negative so I have to get a shot in my butt the next time I go back so my blood doesn't hurt baby's blood or something blah blah. All I hear is "shot in the butt". Awesome. Can't wait for that.


All and all, I'm hanging in there! Bring on the summer heat! Whoa....